06Mar2018 - Tuesday 4 miler
06th March 2018
In: Running 2018
This is week 3 of including a Tuesday morning run in my training. The last two, I have run from work, getting in early and missing the traffic. Today I had a massage at 8:30 so I couldn't do this, and planned a 4 mile route from home. We had done the same route on Saturday instead of parkrun, that was cancelled due to the snow, but it was 0.4 miles short. I planned to amend the end when I got there, and make a decision on which way to go.
The Tuesday plan is 1 mile @11mm, 2 miles at 10mm and 1 mile @11mm. After a bad night's sleep, with nightmares, sweats and an hour reading the paper at 2am because I was so anxious I couldn't sleep, I struggled to get up in the morning. But it was on the plan, so I had to do the run and not only that, I had to get out and back in time to get to the massage at 8:30 in Forest Park. I struggled to eat 2 slices of toast and honey, just didn't want to go down - and it was 7 o'clock and I was worried I'd eaten too close to running. Eventually I set off, relieved that the weather had improved and it wasn't so cold anymore.
I headed to the Mercedes garage and down the London Road - the first mile marker was further away than I thought it was going to be - I was hoping for more of the downhill to be on the fast mile... I always find this first mile hard to control at 11mm because I just want to get going - but at 11:02mm I was pretty pleased with it. I ran this route on Sunday and averaged just over 9mm for the first 3 miles, but today once I began the second mile I knew I wouldn't be doing that pace. The first bit was downhill so I tried to make up some time knowing it was going to go uphill past The Parks. I was working hard but the pace just wasn't the same as Saturday. However, it didn't need to be and I knew Alex would tell me off if I'd done 9mm so I tried to keep to around 10mm. I panic a bit when the pace goes over 10mm that I'm going to lose time, so I step on it a bit, and consequently the pace for mile 2 was 9:42mm.
Mile 3 was similar but with climbing down steps by the sports centre, I thought I'd need to make up time, so stepped on it again up towards Harmans Water. The third mile was even quicker, 9:35mm and sure enough Alex confirmed I'd gone too fast. I found both miles 2 and 3 tough; my legs felt heavy and I was just tired. The fourth mile was a recovery 11mm and I purposefully went a little faster because I knew I had to get back. I got back just in the nick of time to get round to Forest Park.
Mile Splits and Route
Afterthought
The morning was a rush to get to work after this, and I didn't really have time to think about how the run had gone. Later on though, the tiredness caught up with me and I, quite suddenly, started to have massive doubts about the whole thing. My training plan was devised to get me to run 10 miles at 10mm in a race, in less than 4 weeks' time. I started thinking that I wasn't making progress, I struggled this morning to do 2 miles close to 10mm, how on earth was I going to do 10? I have visions of a big group of people running with me and I can't keep up and everyone is telling me to speed up as my pace has dropped. This is completely irrational because I know that no-one would ever say this but it is at these times of irrational negative thinking that I worry most about letting people down who are supporting me. This is my biggest fear, which in itself is irrational because they say I couldn't let them down. I feel so guilty telling them how I'm feeling but I just want someone to know how unhappy I am at that moment. It helps to talk and no-one at work would understand this. I made the mistake of looking at the finish times of the race last year. There are people who I am faster than at track, 5K, 10K - but finished this race in a time that I am pretty sure I'll not achieve. I shouldn't have looked, but I did and now I have to re-wire how to interpret them in a positive way, because I can't un-see them. I need to work on 3 goals for the race that I will be happy with. I should not compare my pace with the results from last year.
I am determined to succeed and that is why I put so much pressure on myself. When I'm told "you'll be able to 10mm, no problem", when I can't run at that speed it is depressing. Writing about what I feel/felt helps. Once it is out, it can stay out and I can get on with trying to devise ways to maintain positive thinking.
The Tuesday plan is 1 mile @11mm, 2 miles at 10mm and 1 mile @11mm. After a bad night's sleep, with nightmares, sweats and an hour reading the paper at 2am because I was so anxious I couldn't sleep, I struggled to get up in the morning. But it was on the plan, so I had to do the run and not only that, I had to get out and back in time to get to the massage at 8:30 in Forest Park. I struggled to eat 2 slices of toast and honey, just didn't want to go down - and it was 7 o'clock and I was worried I'd eaten too close to running. Eventually I set off, relieved that the weather had improved and it wasn't so cold anymore.
I headed to the Mercedes garage and down the London Road - the first mile marker was further away than I thought it was going to be - I was hoping for more of the downhill to be on the fast mile... I always find this first mile hard to control at 11mm because I just want to get going - but at 11:02mm I was pretty pleased with it. I ran this route on Sunday and averaged just over 9mm for the first 3 miles, but today once I began the second mile I knew I wouldn't be doing that pace. The first bit was downhill so I tried to make up some time knowing it was going to go uphill past The Parks. I was working hard but the pace just wasn't the same as Saturday. However, it didn't need to be and I knew Alex would tell me off if I'd done 9mm so I tried to keep to around 10mm. I panic a bit when the pace goes over 10mm that I'm going to lose time, so I step on it a bit, and consequently the pace for mile 2 was 9:42mm.
Mile 3 was similar but with climbing down steps by the sports centre, I thought I'd need to make up time, so stepped on it again up towards Harmans Water. The third mile was even quicker, 9:35mm and sure enough Alex confirmed I'd gone too fast. I found both miles 2 and 3 tough; my legs felt heavy and I was just tired. The fourth mile was a recovery 11mm and I purposefully went a little faster because I knew I had to get back. I got back just in the nick of time to get round to Forest Park.
Mile Splits and Route
Afterthought
The morning was a rush to get to work after this, and I didn't really have time to think about how the run had gone. Later on though, the tiredness caught up with me and I, quite suddenly, started to have massive doubts about the whole thing. My training plan was devised to get me to run 10 miles at 10mm in a race, in less than 4 weeks' time. I started thinking that I wasn't making progress, I struggled this morning to do 2 miles close to 10mm, how on earth was I going to do 10? I have visions of a big group of people running with me and I can't keep up and everyone is telling me to speed up as my pace has dropped. This is completely irrational because I know that no-one would ever say this but it is at these times of irrational negative thinking that I worry most about letting people down who are supporting me. This is my biggest fear, which in itself is irrational because they say I couldn't let them down. I feel so guilty telling them how I'm feeling but I just want someone to know how unhappy I am at that moment. It helps to talk and no-one at work would understand this. I made the mistake of looking at the finish times of the race last year. There are people who I am faster than at track, 5K, 10K - but finished this race in a time that I am pretty sure I'll not achieve. I shouldn't have looked, but I did and now I have to re-wire how to interpret them in a positive way, because I can't un-see them. I need to work on 3 goals for the race that I will be happy with. I should not compare my pace with the results from last year.
I am determined to succeed and that is why I put so much pressure on myself. When I'm told "you'll be able to 10mm, no problem", when I can't run at that speed it is depressing. Writing about what I feel/felt helps. Once it is out, it can stay out and I can get on with trying to devise ways to maintain positive thinking.